I was reading one of the articles on the cnn.com front page today about the oldest bible ever being posted online (see http://www.codexsinaiticus.org/en/) and it got me thinking about something that has always bothered me about Christianity.
I didn't have any sort of religious upbringing so correct me if I am wrong, but from what I've been told and read, Christian belief hinges upon the events surrounding the historical figure, Jesus.
If Jesus wasn't lying, Christianity is the right religion to follow and everyone who doesn't believe in it is wrong and maybe damned.
This passage from CS Lewis in The Problem of Pain explains it:
"The fourth strand or element is a historical event. There was a man born among these Jews who claimed to be, or to be the son of, or to be 'one with', the Something which is at once the awful haunter of nature and the giver of the moral law. The claim is so shocking--a paradox, and even a horror, which we may easily be lulled into taking too lightly--that only two views of this man are possible. Either he was a raving lunatic of an unusually abominable type, of else He was, and is, precisely what He said. There is no middle way. If the records make the first hypothesis unacceptable, you must submit to the second. And if you do that, all else that is claimed by Christians becomes credible--that this Man, having been killed, was yet alive, and that His death, in some manner incomprehensible to human thought, has effected a real change in our relations to the 'awful' and 'righteous' Lord, and a change in our favour."
The problem I have always had with believing the story of Jesus and the fact that Jesus even existed at all (not to say this will ultimately preclude me from ever believing in Him) is that in order to have ever learned anything about Jesus, I would have had to hear the story from someone or something else (talking to other people, reading texts, etc.) I then have to fully trust those people and historical texts. Furthermore, I have no idea who even wrote those historical texts.
My understanding is the Bible is the best source of information on Jesus. My question is (especially after reading about the oldest bible ever now being online and apparently being different from other existing bibles), which Bible do I read? I've heard there are lots of them. There are different interpretations and translations and many have been edited over the years. People disagree whether they were written directly by God, with "divine inspiration", or just by humans. I used to spend about an hour a day reading my version of the Bible that I acquired at Boston College. To be honest, I didn't get very far into the book as I thought it was difficult to understand (I don't know if it was the translation or my lack of intelligence) and hard to read. It also seemed to me (in certain parts) as if it were written by selfish humans who were looking to establish societal regulations, power for themselves, and control over others. I could picture humans in the modern day writing similar things. I admit I could be completely wrong about my perception of the Bible (and I hope I am) and maybe my opinions will change as I re-read. I want to believe in Jesus and the Bible - I really do - but I can't at this point. I do believe that I should be spending more time reading the Bible and taking it more seriously than I have in the past.
People who I have listened to on this subject typically take Jesus' existence for granted and they say, "why would He lie about something so important and compelling to the human race. How could he make something like that up" I get that point, but I also know that people (including myself) lie all of the time. People exaggerate stories. When you play the "telephone game" growing up, people can't keep a story straight for more than a minute. People claim they have seen aliens or UFOs. Do you think they are lying? Why would they have reason to lie about that? How does that benefit them? I always find it extremely difficult to believe stories from people I don't know that well. Even when I think of people I trust, I don't always believe everything they say. Jesus purportedly lived around 2000 years ago, so who am I supposed to listen to and what texts about Him can I be assured aren't comprised of lies or hyperbole.
Given the fact that I had no religious upbringing, I probably wasn't even aware of Jesus until I was older than 10 (maybe younger - my memory is terrible right now). It seems to me that the playing field for discovering Jesus is unequal. What if I had died when I was younger and before I even knew of Jesus potentially existing - how would that position me in terms of Christian belief and judgment? Would I just be sent to Hell for being ignorant? What if I was born on an island without access to many people, and the only people I had contact with never heard the story of Jesus? Things are easier now with modern means of communication, but what about a long time ago?
Aside from Jesus, I think there are many other ways to develop a spiritual/religious view of the world based on natural observations and thoughts. Morality, love, and the idea of the "otherworldly" seem innate to me. The story of Jesus doesn't seem natural to me - it takes a greater leap of faith. Not only do I have to trust his story (which is obviously remarkable and the most important story ever if true), but I have to sift through materials, books, and listen to/trust other people and believe that the story has been accurately portrayed throughout history. It's not something I can really discover or believe on my own (I acknowledge that my views on morality and love, etc. have also been shaped by other people, but I think it's in a different way). I know I should be devoting a significant amount of time to forming a position on Jesus, but I am also fearful of being misled.
At this point in history, I feel that society is so far removed from ancient times with all of these modern human advances and that determining whether Jesus existed or not isn't a priority for most people (I could be wrong about this but I know it hasn't been as great of a priority as it should be for me). I almost never have discussions with other people about whether they think Jesus existed or not. It seems to be either taken for granted or not believed at all. It confuses me.
Even though I am currently a "non-believer", I realize the story of Jesus has lasted throughout history and has had a significant impact (maybe the greatest overall impact of any single event) on human history, society, and beliefs. There is probably a reason for that and for everyone's sake, I hope the events are true. Personally, I know that I have to a better job of formulating an opinion on the events and believing in something. I do have existing spiritual beliefs and probably believe in some sort of loving creator, but I don't really know where to go from there. I also know that the consequences of apathy or non-belief could potentially be awful for me if I am wrong.
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