Potential and possibility can be comforting. "I'm not satisfied with my life now, but in 5 years I am going to do great things. I will eventually be happy". I think I am programmed to view my life in this way, and I think society is too. In the workplace, you have the concept of "paying your dues". In the NBA, you have players with tons of "potential" getting drafted before players who have performed better in the past. I'm usually thinking about what I am going to be doing in the future (as if I have any clue), rather than about what is happening right now.
For this reason, I think the concept of "potential" can be dangerous. I've often had people tell me I am going to be a "rich man" one day. It might be a nice 5 second confidence boost, but a statement like that may never come true for a plethora of reasons.
I can think of many of them right now - I am lazy, I procrastinate, I don't have an aggressive personality, and I don't even know if I want to make a lot of money. I don't know what I want at all. I think part of the cause for this apathy and passiveness is some sort of circularity. I have this idea in my head that I have all sorts of potential. I can afford to be lazy now because things will just happen for me in the future. The reality is, I have a big ego and that's about it at this point. I have a false sense of comfort, security and privilege. I come up with ridiculous thoughts of things I will be doing in the future, but I never act on any of them. It is repulsive now that I think about it.
So, I don't really know what to conclude from this, but I would like to rid myself of this idea of potential because I think it's potentially a major vice.
I think that pondering our potential is what gives meaning to our days. It may not be the potential for making money that makes you excited, but with a strong education and a lucid mind you do have the potential to contribute in so many different ways. If we didn't have potential, and if we knew what was going to happen with the rest of our life, daily existence would be incredibly boring. When people tell you that you have potential I think what they're saying is that you have a solid foundation for success in many areas. Focus on your potential contributions to the world outside of finance and I think you'll feel much more content with your current position.
ReplyDeleteI don't really think you're very lazy at all... not when you were seeing me off on Sunday so you could go to work all day.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, potential is nice, but not enough when you haven't found the right set of goals. I know you've been pretty concerned about that and trying to figure it out and find a career path that suits and challenges you. Once you find that, I bet it will become much easier to fulfill that potential.